An Anniversary Of Sorts.

Today is Tuesday, November 22nd. Six years ago today, my daddy left this earth. I loved him so very much and I miss him more then I can say but I celebrate today as the day he changed. My dad had a hard life and he wasn't able to overcome his trials here. He never overcame his sevier addictions. In his last days he wasn't able to think clearly. He died in a very harsh way. I could not prevent this.  I could not help him. Not only was I too young but he made his own choices. This year is the first year that the days of the week fall in the same order as they did that year, thanksgiving and all. Some how that makes year 6 harder than year 2.  I am grateful, so very grateful, for the peace and knowledge that I have that he is better in the hands of our Savior than he ever could have been here in mine here. It took time to heal and understand this, I even had a distain for thanksgiving until two years ago when on thanksgiving I realized that the man who would be my best partner through eternity was right there all along. And I began to understand how much I could love. He helped me be able to celebrate a real thanksgiving again. Then this year on my daddy's birthday, November 10th, I went into labor with the sweetest baby girl I have ever met. I have this assurance in me that he knows her, and that he loved her where she was before. She has pieces of him in her. The last message I sent to him, on a balloon I let go at his funeral, was to send his grandchildren prepared. It's just a feeling but I feel that he honored that wish to the best of his ability. This year, for that I am grateful.

I am ever so grateful for the decisions I make that have give me the ability to feel the guidance of the Lord in my life. I know what it feels like to feel His love and His peace: comfort. There are so many things in my life that I know I would not have made it through with out the understanding that I have of those feelings. I testify that love and peace can be felt even amidst sadness and loss. That is the exact purpose of those feelings, that is the exact purpose of the Holy Ghost. The Lord calls us in our weakness but he qualifies us to overcome. I love you daddy, we miss you.
Love your angels. (because now there is two of us)